Gypsynan

Strange things

2007-09-09T01:02:00.000-07:00

One of the things thatone learns after living in the West, is that society there is pretty conformist! And being members of a consumer society is what marks them as completely diferent from those in the third world. This is not what you normally think of the Lands of Freedom and Individuality. But strangely enough, getting along socially is a huge thing for People of European Origin in general. PEO parents would allow thir kids to do things that they may not approve of, (watch TV shows or playing video games or chatting online excessively), simply because they would not want their kids to be social outcasts or horrors, uncool. A non PEO parent would not stand for behavior they do not approve of and never feel conflicted about doing what they think is right for their kids (never mind if what they think is right is also wrong.

I was reminded of this from the following news report, in the NYT: based on recent research that says that additives lead to hyperactivity in kids. So a peditrician and head of some doctors association had this to say:

Even if it shows some increase in hyperactivity, is it clinically significant and does it impact the child’s life?” said Dr. Thomas Spencer, a specialist in Pediatric Psychopharmacology at Massachusetts General Hospital.
“Is it powerful enough that you want to ostracize your kid? It is very socially impacting if children can’t eat the things that their friends do.”

The above is an example of the kind of very powerful and truly evil forces that operate beneath the shiny externals of western society. As a marketing expert, I know that this is the most powerful argument against healthy foods possible in that society. Especially since I was also employed with a Pharma related industry lately, and know how aggressively the industry is pushing produts like Ritalin for ADD. In fact there have also been news reports of teachers insisting on Ritalin for undiagnosed but disruptive young students. And Dr. Spencer is either already associated with various special interest groups, or he is lobbying to be a lobbyist. Look at me saying what you want me to say on the NYT for free. Imagine how useful I could be if I was "rewarded" indirectly (their rules about paying doctors). Of course, I don't know the tragic truth is that he might truly believe that taking a risk for your child's health is worth the potential social payoff!

Of course, there is a whole movement towards organic foods etc. and there are educated parents who would make sure their kids eat healthy, but these are an elite minority. Schools aggressively court soda companies to "sponsor" them. Billions ae spent on selling to children, and then there are editorials against groups lobbying for healthy foods in schools - talking about how in democratic societies people have the right to make free choices. Except when billions are spent to communicate the sellers point of view, the choice is never free! And in a rich and free society the parents do not get to decide something as basic as what goes into their kids bodies.

Basically you don't need to be a bin ladin to understand how pervasively and insidiously corporates influence society out there.

Changes...

2007-08-14T03:50:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

there have been some drastic changes in my life. Following an illness in April,I have been at home for a few months and have finally followed the husband to Dubai, who is there on deputation for 2 years from Montreal. The plan is to take some time off to get well, and explore some options - namely write a book. Its scary to let go of all you have worked for all your life, to suddenly step into a completely different life, but its now or never. I am so lucky that option is open to me and I have decided to embrace the opportunity. Plus I will be closer to home and we are seriously going to evaluate the idea of returning. I have so many projects in my head.

On the other hand, I am truly excited and exhilarated by the idea of change. I am a true nomad that way. Dubai is bizarre, but I feel very awake, love or hate. Montreal was slowly burying me alive, I am too much of a urban, third world rat to feel at comfortable, when life seems complete and comfortable. Stability really sucked.

anyways visit
http://suddenly-dubai.blogspot.com/
if you like. And I will keep posting a few interesting links here.

So have you heard Rehab Brilliant innit?

The brave son of Andhra returns home

2007-07-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

recently while seraching for friends I lost touch with, I came across this. Captain Acharya was among my group of buddies and I knew Padma pani very well. Been to their home, loved their 2 Dalmatians. RIP

The brave son of Andhra returns home

Shireen in Hyderabad

The body of Major Padmapani Acharya, who was killed while fighting Pakistani intruders in Kargil sector earlier this week, was brought to Hyderabad by a scheduled Indian Airlines flight this morning.

Andhra Pradesh Governor Dr C Rangarajan, Chief Minister N Chandrababu Naidu, his ministerial colleagues, leaders of opposition parties and top army and state government officials were present at Begumpet airport to receive the body.

The coffin was received with full military honours and placed at a specially laid podium for army personnel and other dignitaries to pay their respects. The governor, chief minister, Andhra sub-area commander, Brigadier M V Gangadharan, ministers, opposition leaders and others laid wreaths on the body. Over 500 defence personnel, representing the three wings -- the army, the navy and the air force -- saluted the valiant officer.

The Major's parents, his pregnant widow, two sisters and younger brother Captain Padmasambhav Acharya were also present at the airport. Captain Acharya who too is involved in the Kargil operations, was granted special permission to participate in his brother's funeral.

The body of the major was later taken on a flower-bedecked army truck to his house at Hastinapur on the city outskirts. It was kept there for some time to enable people to pay their respects. Portraits of the slain major and banners hailing his martyrdom were put up at vantage points on the way to the locality.

The mortal remains of the major were later taken in a procession to the Bolaram army burial grounds for cremation with full military and state honours.

The 31-year-old Major Padmapani Acharya of Rajputana Rifles fell to enemy artillery fire while fighting to recapture Point 4700 in the Kargil sector on June 28. He killed three enemy soldiers before giving up his life.

He had celebrated his birthday on June 21 at the battlefront and spoken to his 25-year-old wife Charulatha, who is seven months pregnant, the next day.

Padmapani Acharya's father, Jagannath Acharya, is a retired wing commander of the Indian Air Force who saw action in the 1965 and 1971 wars with Pakistan. The senior Acharya is presently working with the Defence Research and Development Laboratories at Hyderabad.

Remember when?

2007-06-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WpT3TqsNqBY

people of a certain age will enjoy this I think!

:)

The truth about Indians in the West

2007-06-11T06:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20070604&fname=Italy+%28F%29&sid=1

Recently there was this article in the Outlook about illegal immigrants from India in Italy. I was quite appalled by the tone of the whole thing. It quite happily talked about how some 50,000! illegal Punjabis immigrants are in some little area in Italy and are working as farm workers. While the article quoted locals saying that they liked Indians(whee) I can not believe, based on what i experienced, that locals are happy at the sudden influx of illegals. Like in the US they employ Mexicans and loathe them at the same time.

And set me thinking about the whole Indian immigration thing. I started travelling on work quite late in life, in my twenties. And of course growing up, I did have a fascination with foreign travel and beieved that people who went abroad were sophisticated people who were doing very well. Growing up in the 80s there was very little in the news about Indians abroad. So when I went to London, I was quite stunned by the number of Indians there and how awfully poor and marginalised they all appeared to be. Over the years of reading the UK papers, one realises how much of a "problem" Asians and colored people in general are in that country, and the general feeling today among the natives, is strongly anti immigrant. The foreigners use their resources, expect social security and housing, and free medicare and often are bringing the quality of education down in public schools to the xtent that white people can not send their kids to public school any more and private schools ar so expensive. This may be an exaggeration on their part but this is reality. And somehow I am not sure it is racism, think how we feel about Bangladeshi migrants in India.

And the truth is the majority of Asians in the UK are not doctors and university professors, they are the workers at the bottom of the ladder, living in ghettos, and their culture is more like pakistanis (honour killings anyone?) than middle class urban Indians. A telling point is that the vast majority get their wives and husbands for their children from rural areas of India. And they are seen the way the average rich Delhite looks upon Bihari migrants. From benign indifference at bet to contempt. And yes, the estimate is that about a quarter to half of Indians in the UK went there illegally. And the Indian areas in London and Toronto are truly depressing.

The same is true for most of Europe. I have seen Indian illegals everywhere and they are such a pathetic sight. They work menial jobs, on the run from the police, they can never visit home as they don't have papers. And they spend so much money to make the journey, never knowing how tough life will be.

And so when I read an celebratory article on illegal Indian immigrants in Italy, and how they are perceived to be good agricultural workers(yay!), and they are no doubt paid below the minimum wage and lead pathetic - I am just incensed. The TOI is another paper that regularly runs congratulatory articles that basically say that Indians are taking over the country, because they run corner shops. Corner shops are run by asians because they are open at all hours and no one else wants to run them. Its like saying the paan wallahs are taking over Mumbai.

Even in the US with the largest concentration of successful Indian professionals, its the cab drivers, 7/11 (corner shops again) and motels that are top of mind. Motels that are built on lonely stretches of the highways, that are cheap and the byword for fleas, dirt and dinge.

Plus there are periodically stories of Indian illegals caught in remote places, Albania and Eastern Europe trying to make the crossing, or worse. How many know that hundreds of Punjabis died while crossing the sea to Europe when a ship carrying illegals capsized. It was big news - abroad.

The Indian media is really being criminally irresponsible when it presents life in the west as some glorious destination and encourages illegal immigration. I wonder how many of the young men who spent up to 25 lakhs to get to Italy, expected to be agricultural laboureres for the rest of their lives, as many of them will, a few will acquire corner shops , no doubt.

Hate speech

2007-05-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

I have a peculiar fascination with letters to the editor. We get 2 newspapers, the Globe and Mail(the Canadian national "elite" newspaper) and Montreal Gazette (the most read English newspaper in Quebec) and I always read the letters right after the front page. It always makes me feel more in touch with the pulse of the readers. And of course I troll through the comments sections in Indian news sites as well as international ones. And what always shocks me is the type of comments left in the Indian news sites.

The two main targets Muslims and lefties are insulted in the most apalling profane language . I myself am no dainty damsel, but my gaalis I flatter myself are backed by a certain intellectual angst and argument.

Times of India tops the list, but Outlookindia is no better. The TOI I belive actively sponsors anti muslim tirades, while OLI probably tries to appear fair and reasonable to lefty haters. In any case these national newspapers are guilty of carrying some of the dirtiest and most hateful, inflammatory comments on the internet on their websites. The type of sites that carry these in the west are labeled as Nazi, white supremacist labels and are often hounded out by their web service providers.

All American as well as British newspapers edit out the most egregious comments from their sites. Yes, there are anti immigrant letters to the editors in both the the Sun and the Times for example, but they are always well reasoned, and profanity free. The NYT has millions of comments on their forum, but the site clearly says that hate speech will not be tolerated.

Why is this crap encouraged by Indian national news sites? Its not freedom of expression to carry letters that insult the morality of Hindu women in general (I believe these are written by Hindu fundies to inflame the moderate Hindu types) or Islm. Speech and public acts are very carefully monitored in our country, Dipa Mehta had to shoot Water in Sri Lanka because she wanted to make a film about a shameful part of our history, but if I want to say Hindu women have no morals or crudely insult Mslms , the national newspapers in India will cheerfully carry it on their sites.

I am deeply ashamed to think that if some foreigner like me chooses to research contemporary India, the impression they will get from our national newspapers, is that we are crude, nasty and dumb. While someone like me reading the letters section in the Sunday Times or New York Times, is impressed by the quality of readership and the standard of debate - only because really nasty comments are edited out. Its not as if nastiness on the internet is non existent in the West, You Tube is full of insults (e.g search Sanjaya and Shyamali)

Actually I do think most people of my generation of Indians are intolerant and intellectually lazy and worst of all SMUG! This theme will be continued in my next blog.

I loathe "inheritanceof loss" and others such...

2007-04-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

I was reading this today, while in a hospital waiting room, and still gave up after 50 odd pages and stared instead at an about to pop button on the shirt that not quite held in the girth of a dozing, probably homeless guy, reeking of last nights' beer - sitting opposite me on the waiting benches. Her book is worse than my prose - ain't that sump'n?

Read it and you know that this was written by a woman who read a lot as a girl, and all of what she read was written before the 1950s. And she has absrbed the Victorians in an osmotic process that defies the 21st century - despite all the politically correct posturing and positioning as a book of and about the diaspora and immigration and identity and familial bonds in a global worl and all that shit...

All this bullshit in Angrezi gets me mad. Not that she can not write what she pleases - go freedom of expression, but that people take this shit seriously. There is a whole generation of genteel, upper class Indian women, who read a lot of yellowing 18th century novels . Their sterile imaginations are backed by aunties who say "beta kitaab kyo nahin likhti", "write a book darling, everyone is doing it and you always topped in english, na?".

So having nothing to say really, having never lived at all or felt a strong emotion, other than smug self satisfaction, they troll for concepts hoping to strike on something big, globalisation, traditional woman in foreign land and such shit and write a book around it - case in point Jhumpa Lahiri, whose utterly boring story about her parents was much improved in the movie. Writing skills honed to win essay contests and never to truly express themselves - so gogol is a citizen of the flat earth - ma and baba are almost but not quite real - because those are not her stories. let Jhumpa write an honest, real, story about growing up in a foreign land and I will say she can write. And the whole "gogol" Russian angle is nothing but a sad attempt to impart more meaning and significance to a story, that really has very little. Say in high pitched tone " Hmmmm I wrote a book about the boring lives of my ma and baba - hows that gonna go down, I know, let me add some russian flair!!! woo hoo, now I can associate myself with the Russian pantheon"

And speaking of Namesake - the movie, it was lovely but when Tabu recites Wordsworth, I wanted to die. This is ridiculous, our tastelessness can be revealed in a more honest way - singing is a much in demand talent among Bong brides to be - I can see her singing a robidro shongit, but reciting wordsworth !! - its beyond pathetic, crass and I hate Mira Nair for this humiliation of still precious to me Bengali culture.

I cringe I die
Lonely in the crowd
of those appreciative of
false or no emotions
and alone can hear the hollow sounds
as I stumble on empty tins with peeling labels reading "intellectual"
I puke

Hahahahahaha - who reads my shit?

So what I am railing against is not really these pretentious poseurs as much as those who provide them with encouragement. Why, But why?

mmmuaah!

PINK!!!

2006-10-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

CHECK IT OUT!!! GENIUS! you must have Audio though and tell me its HHHHHHot!

PS: I have a horrible cringe making feeling that my father in law is reading this blog! If so...oh god no! this is my evil twin sister. a petni takes me over once a week and makes me blog, I am a good bouma really :)

plus there are many others like me, lurking in the blogosphere, being morally upright citizens in the real world. That is real this is ... a nightmare. pronaam jeno :)

long time

2006-10-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

welcome back, here is a snack bit!

Did you know that Bangladeshi Nobel winner Md Yunus' first wife was Russian and his daughter Monica Yusuf is a rising star of the American opera? I found this while browsing Bangladeshi blogs, I do that when any news intersting... look up local/relevant blogs. Interstingly, Monica's web site just says born in Chittagong of Bangladeshi and Russian parentage, but Md. Yunus was worth bragging about for a long time. They are not estranged. video interview here

By the way the islamic blogs have pretty much ignored the news...I am interested in Islamic stuff because I lived in Cairo for a few years and really loved it. I love Arab culture and have many Arab/ N African friends, but I am not blind to the "issues" Interestingly, Arabs mostly do not get along with each other, and an average Arab definitely feels superior to a Bangladeshi. plus Islamists are navelgazing, negative, self destructive and of course bent on destroying the world as we know it.George Bush will do for Osama's ummah what Hitler did for Israel, create a Muslim Bloc where none ever existed, because they bicker too much. Of course once the ummah is actually created they will self destruct through infightling. A very interesting Arab proverb" me against my brother, me and my brother against my cousin, me my cousin and brother against our neighbours and all of us together against those from the next village ad infinitum"! Nice huh!

I guess no one ever visits this anymore...but I am back. THis year was insane, crazy personal and professional stuff...but silver lining, had a major promotion and worklife is way more calm than it was...the husbandman is away in the UK and I am enjoying a quiet, cool grey weekend.

take care people!

long time...

2006-06-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

Its been a while. I am obviously struck by myselfitis, which refers to my inability to stay interested in something for a very long time. So the whole blogging thing was fun and required a lot of my time , visiting other blogs commenting, getting visitors, getting linked by the many who did, what excitement! And then the fzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Well I have been busy but who isn't.

This is the point people join the peace corps. I would actually like to go back to India and do some thing in the development sector. I could be good. I have terrific organisational skills. I want to run a eco friendly guest house in digha with an organic farm. The buildings would be made of traditional bengali mud and straw, and they would be double storied. And there will be palm trees and mango trees and traditional pottery and literacy classes. And I would go swimming in the bay of Bengal. I love swimming in the sea. And I would have a platoon of dogs.

Today was a brilliant summer day. We went to home depot and baught 2 beautiful Jasmine trees - redolent of that the delicate but strong perfume . And I bought a pot and soil and planted chicory and dhaniya and methi. I can't wait for them to grow. That is me. I can't wait, for the next thing and perpetually gently but firmly disappointed with the present.

New York ! New York !

2006-03-11T15:57:00.000-08:00

Hello is anybody there?
hiatus for reason unknown. Just been very busy. Came back after a week in New York . 4 days of work 3 days of slacking. The weather was beautiful and my hotel was the Marriott at the Times Square and I had a fabulous time. Also it has been almost 2 years since I have travelled entirely on my own. The last time was when I went to Venice for a conference and travelled around Italy - the husband man had come along but had to leave a few days early. So I did bits of Venice , Milan and Rome on my own. It was quite lovely.

I love New York. Its big and brash and loud and scary but it fills your senses. It makes you feel very young, like everything is possible all over again-despite the frightening metro system and crush of people. And I love African American accents - that slightly kind, slightly wise, slightly liting, this time around I met a lot of them but it was that odd 2 second encounter with an old guy with rasta hair, collecting money for a shelter in the village "thank you my darling , god bless you" with such ... easy confidence?!

I just love walking around and stumbling into places and I stumbled into this restaurant called Kelly and Ping inside a huge old place in Soho - Asian, selling noodles and vietnamese coffeee with the yummiest cookies I ever had , a quarter each. THis sudden sense of being transported some where else? Other than New york? But why would I want that... no its just the immigrant recreation of the memory of another place, but chic and the rather cut Mr. Ping in a T shirt that said "eat more rice"

I did a tasting tour of little Italy...3 hours walk inand out of food shops and restos and pasta making places... yummy. Totally worth the 40$.

Got on the bus outside the Guggenheim and had 2 dollars for thetickets in notes, the driver in toronto would have thrown me out, but the NY driver asked sit and look for the money, and 2 lovely tattoed NY city girls gave me 8 quarters to pay for the ticket after I had foiund that I did not have any.

Watched the Producers, all by myself, but felt perfectly at home. I am guessing braodway shows were the original inspiration for hindi movies? Mel Brooks and bollywood should get together!

The city's got heart.
ciao.

you go Mittal!

2006-02-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

Any body following the progress of the Mittal bid for Arcelor. I have been hooked since the bid first received a 2 page story treatment in the Globe and Mail Business section. ln In brief the UK based Laxmi Mittal group has made a hostile bid for Arcelor, an EU / France based steel maker. What has been absolutely fascinating is the response to the bid – European politicians – mostly French, but also Spanish, Belgian and from Luxembourg ( whose Govt. owns 5% of the shares) have been frothing in the mouth saying that this bid is “ ridiculous, ill planned, has no strategic vision ad infinitum. When in reality this will lead to the creation of the largest steel maker in the world – and makes all kinds of economic sense.

The most important objection seems to be that “the cultural values are not shared”. No one really explains what that means. Mittal has already met key politicians, saying that jobs will not be lost. So what bothers them exactly? The following comments from the head of Publicis seem relevant:

Lévy said he had been surprised by the move from a group whose origins were in India, even though it is British-based, when he had expected such big interventions from emerging markets, a symptom of globalisation, to emerge first from China.

"I am not saying it is positive or it is negative. But it is the kind of thing that we will see more and more.

"I was a little bit surprised personally because I was expecting this kind of hostile bid but coming from China, rather than India. I thought this would come - but I was expecting it to be more from China."

He added that Mittal’s decision to make a "quite harsh" bid for a rival would be likely to change the way that emerging market countries led by China and India, and their leading companies, were viewed in the West.

"This is not the behaviour of an emergent country," he said. "This is something that is coming from a dominant country, which is saying ‘OK, I want to buy you’. The way this decision is presented is quite harsh … solidly hostile."

He added: "I think it is an Indian deal with a British style."

Good old racism – you may be a citizen of UK but you are Indian and we do not expect Indians to make bold moves. I have been following this avidly. Rooting for Mittal. Comments?

2006-01-30T17:03:00.000-08:00

The San Fran blog was overdue. After recent events did not feel like blogging much, but the husband man wants me to so...here is a blog on San Fran. Its a LOOOOONG flight from DC. 6 hours. The leg space in planes is getting smaller by the day... when I was a kid there was this aunt who worked for the WHO who said things like " flying is so tedious" and I would stare goggle eyed and think I would never say that! I do man do I!!! Leg space is like worse than the average Indian AC bus. Bah!

Landed and the weather was warm and lovely against my cheeks, I breathed in and hopped a bit with delight. Friends who came to pick up us insisted on a little tour of the Oracle offices on our way, at night.

My favourite things to do is to take a "city break". Explore a new city, walk around, "do" nothing and eat lovely long meals at funky little joints and drink from noon. onwards and San Fran was heaven, for that.

The actual city is a delight to walk in. Its hilly and goes up and down and there are these charming little street cars for tourists. There are loads of ethnic districts : china town being one of the oldest in the states. The 2 pictures are of Murals from the Latin quarter - doesn't she look like Ma kaali?

And there is Haight Ashbury, funky, zoned out, great little shops and we had a fantastic meal at an Ethiopian place. Drinks at a bar that reminded me of the beer bars around colaba. People watching was great, Americans are usually pretty boring looking, but San fran was different... OK this post is not happening.... I have forgotten how to write.

ciao

WHAT IS HIS REAL NAME?

2006-01-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

Ben Kingsley was born Krishna Bhanji on December 31, 1943. He lived with his parents, an Indian general practitioner and an English fashion model, in Yorkshire, England.

Also see interesting article in NYT on covering

Nikhileshwar Mukhopadhyay 1913-2005

2006-01-08T15:18:00.000-08:00

My dadu passed away today. Complications due to pneumonia, he was unable to breath, but he had a very strong heart, so he went through some 21 convulsions over 4 hours, before passing the last painful breath. It was predicted by the doctor about a week back, but my dadu was a 6 foot tall lathiyaal from East Bengal, a chela of Surjo Sen ( how many people who know who that was?) and fought a good fight. The whole family was there, all the sons, daughters and daughters inlaws and some grand kids. Thamma has been difficult - with her alzheimers , and loss in short term memory, she needed some one to keep explaining to her what was going on. She understands that he died and cied till she was put on sedatives, which is good, because we fear that she will keep forgetting and need to be reminded and will relive the pain over and over. God - let no one else live through this.

My earliest memories of dadu are in our bunglow in the hills - holding his hand and going to the bazaar - even as an adult I was inordinately pleased when dadu said " khub bhaalo meye, she would go to the market with me every day and she was such a small girl but she never asked for anything, not even a lojens" He called me honumoti and he loved gardening. Taking equal pleasure in the huge velvery dahliahs and huge roses that were of a flower show quality and a sack of potatoes grown in the back. He was earthy as my thamma was sophisticated, he never lost the bangal accent but spoke with a melodious intonation that was a pleasure to listen. Tall and fair, with a perfectly formed, shiny, bald head and a nose that is the pride of the family, (I have a ghost of it too) always dressed in white dhuti and "shirt" and the pointy toed black "pump shoe" he cut an awesome figure when I was a little girl.

He never talked much, but when in a good mood he would sing in a strong, open but untrained voice, robindro shongeet with a robust barritone no proffessional singer has ever been able to come close - in our family and we knew it. But he sang when he was happy, in the garden, after a bath, during daily puja - he never sang on request, he was not that kind of a man.

When he was young, he lived with his mother and 3 brothers in a bangladeshi village. His father, a handsome rogue, had desterted them for another woman - yes such things happened then- and the tejaswi golaap shundori brought them up in poverty and with very tight reins. But the brothers were wild in their own ways - and joined up with the swadeshis - a story that he would only talk briefly of , in sudden moments, when in the mood, to me or a few of my cousins. As a scholarship student of Physics at Dhaka university he was arrested and then deported from East Bengal and for 5 years he had to pay a weekly visit to the nearest police station in West Bengal. Studying as a English student at Calcullta Univ. he tutored 4 kids of a North Cal family in return for room and board. Then followed a series of odd jobs including the opening a shoe store in Dhaanbaad in partnership with a Kabuliwallah. He would occasionally say " juto shelaai thekey chondi paath shob shotti korechhi"

Its always interesting to me that he married my thamma, an urbanite school teacher and a history MA to boot. The well spoken, well read, petite lady that she was - her younger sister went on to be an All India General Secretary of the Congress party and a union minister - and it was a love marriage of sorts. Then they went to Coochbihaar and that is where my grandma was asked to set up the school in the hills and dadu was the add on - he completed both and MA and B ed but was always a formidable math teacher. Its interesting that in the 50s, and since then, my dadu reported officially to my thamma - as the only MA in the entire district, it was my thamma who was asked to be the principal - but there was never any doubt that the math teacher was a formidable character in his own right - physically able to wrestle with 2-3 boys and a fine reputation for teaching - not many men even today could deal with the inherent power definitions of this arrangement. When I was about 15 he once told me " its because of your grand mother that your father and others have turned out so well, she was a devoted mother" I thought that was the sweetest thing a husband could say. Especially one as taciturn as my dadu.

And dadu in later years would talk of Bangladesh - how beautiful it was. HE also said something that I have never heard said anywhere else - he believed that the Hindu landlords treated their muslim praja like dirt as they did most people and also the low caste hindus. And My bapi always said, with a reverse snobbery in effect " jaanish we are the only people of Bangladeshi origin who were poor even there, everyone else always had at least a jaagirdaari" and we would laugh, we are a no bullshit family - bangaal to the bone you know :)

And he was religious in the later years - devotee of Sri Gopaal - spending hours in the pujaa room - singing bhajans in the same strong open voice - but he always hated the BJP - that was important to me at one point.

He was happiest when after retirement they bought the baagaan baari near Kolkata - those years of keeping 2 cows and watching over the 40 mango trees and fishing in the pond - he was blissfully happy - thamma wasn't though, but she loved it because he did.

Thamma would proudly whisper of her surreptitious visit to the Intelligence bureau, when the government a last call for freedom fighters to put in their claims, and dadu could not be bothered - the officers pulled out dusty dossiers - after much pleading - and looked him up and found 5 pages of records - and said "ei ki- aapnaar husband tow mohaa dangerous lok moshaai!".
But we never knew the exact details - and its too late now.

I think I cried today after god knows how long - I can not simply remember the last time - its the end of an era of simpler times - of genteel poverty and bhadralok bengalis and their struggles - talking to everyone on the phone - I felt the connections and the pull of the family so strongly after a long time - a reminder of what is important in life.

It was a full life, well lived - rest in peace.

Quail in red wine and cranberry reduction - or my first food blog!

2006-01-03T18:45:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone. San Fran was awesome but I am really too tired to write a whole post hence some quick showing off is in order. I made this quail in wine reduction that was simply faboulous dahlings! And I have the pictures to prove it - some day I WILL get that restaurant! Are you waiting? Here goes...

First I got a cast iron pan (lohaar koraai y'all) and that is a major step towards becoming a ooh lala chef, for details see here Its heavy, its intimidating , its perfecto.

Marinated 8 quails in red wine, salt and pepper

Fry onions in cast iron skillet

Add a few cranberries and the quail and brown on medium heat, and then bung into oven for 25 minutes at 450 degrees.

Take the skillet out, emove only the quails, and keeping the by now caramelised onions in the skillet.

Now, for the jus or the reduction, as the fancy schmancy menus say, sauce for you and me. Add red wine, about a wine glass full.

And then added more cranberries, 1 mandarin sliced, sour cream, marmalade and a few drops of balsamic vinegar. Stir till all is caramelised and silky and blended.

And once the sauce is done, you'll know when it tastes right, so taste and find out. Pour over quail and serve with a good pinot

Better than sex!

I am going to San francisco....

2005-12-23T09:25:00.000-08:00

If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you're going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people there
In the street
If you go
In the street
If you go
In the street
If you go
In the street
If you go to San Francisco

Happy holidays everyone. Party hard. Don't drink and drive. much love

Its the season !

2005-12-18T17:34:00.000-08:00

Hello people! long time and all that. Just been super busy at office - trying to lick a business unit into shape, which made me go all hard headed and practical and not in a blogging frame of mind at all. its been hectic socially as well - all the holiday season parties - must also admit I have been super good and stuck to the South beach diet for 2 weeks now and got down to 4 dress sizes - and have been going to the gym and strength training. I feel really all strong and motivated and good. Last 2 winters I basically nested and ate and watched TV - this time it will be different - I swear.

Winter has hit Montreal as well. Crazy amount of snow in the last 48 hours - apparently the highest since 71 - 41 inches!!! It did not disrupt my life at all - the metro is down the block and being Vieux Montreal the street clearing is super efficient - it was eerie from my 32 nd floor office though as the skyline disappeared in a mist and I felt like I was suspended in mid air - but we still went X mas shopping and partied - its in times like this you realised what OIL really means to North America - its as basic a need as water or oxygen - not just their way of life but very survival depends on it. Winter is a cosy time too- I feel all dreamy in the first snow fall, softly drifting down and it is dry so its not like walking the rain - and as hard core Canadians know, snow time is warmer than the really cold days!!! Those are dry and sunny and kill you in 20 minutes. And the X mas lights are out and its all very white christmas magical.

I love my new home - the floor to ceiling windows let in light and a lovely view - the floors are all hardwood and glowy! I feel like a home bird for now and love coming back. I think I am getting comfortable - this winter is not so bad at all. Its a good feeling I have about our very own first home - all warm and cosy.

Feeling like loving Montteal. Here are some pictures of my old street - and the uber hip plateau area where we stayed - the pictures are of the annual bike athon , when the close all the roads for a day and bikes take over - cyclists are a big noisy political group here. Its nice. I am all happy and angst free and approving - the meds are working :)

Please drop a line when you are here. I miss you.

Good read

2005-12-03T18:27:00.000-08:00

A New York Times article on the Golden Quadrilateral Project. Obviously government PR played a role in getting it commissioned, which is quite impressive, but the article itself is perhaps an example of the positive feedback about India that you find pretty often now. The NYT with Friedman is rooting for India it seems

SUPPORT MY CAUSE _ NAHIN CHALEGI - I am very Virudh product placements

2005-12-02T13:46:00.000-08:00

Blogging is a great weapon in the hands of those with eccentric causes. I have found mine. Saw Virudh over the weekend. Bachhan was as hot as ever phew, I still like older men :), yay (see post below for reference, you speed reading 5 second visitors)

It was a pretty good movie by Bollywood standards - had a statement to make, was pretty well edited, and not too depressing for the escapist masses, the presence of a cute ghost in white is quite soothing and takes away from the sting of murder and death. Amitabh's late phase is getting more phenomenal by the day - that man takes a pretty good movie to great heights...

And the dialogues were good
BUT
what's with the product placement? So jarring - in the middle of an emotional dialogue - father remembering his dead son, there is an ad for Western Union- and another super heavy scene - old man shoots son's murderer and is arrested and giving deeply moving speech - there is again an praise of Calcium Sandoz, Calcium Sandoz???!!! I mean this is a part of the dialogue.

what @#%***@#$ is this. One does not expect a great deal from Bollywood, but it is an expression of Bharatiya Sanskriti, hai ki nahin? There are limits to how low we can get - and this is mine. I don't have a problem with actual product placements in the background, but for the hero to sing praises of brands in the middle of a dialogue is an insult to the audience! It totally jarred me out of my alcohol, amitabh, duck and bollywood induced stupor - nahin chalegi. No culture in the world should tolerate such a travesty. Total sell out... I mean total.

Please protest...Cholbey na, hic!

In which RON gives it to the potter gang

2005-12-01T11:34:00.000-08:00

Saw the latest Harry Potter - they are all basically lame - except the Cuaron flick - but can I say Rupert Grint kicks ass??!!! Harry and Hermione are alright, no great acting there and sort of predictable - but Ron is growing up MOST interestingly! He has a sleepy, hulking, intense screen presence, a personality dammit, and I see him as the only significant actor to emerge out of the lot. Someone put him in a angsty teen age cult movie, quick - like the Columbine massacre or something!

Yes, I AM A FREAK.

Do something small for democracy?

2005-11-28T14:15:00.000-08:00

http://manjunathshanmugam.blogspot.com/

Please visit and leave a note. If possible write to the govt. The E mail addresses are given. If you don't do the least you can do, people who can do their worst, will do exactly that.

And also, VOTE. Its a big deal - yes it is.

Finding of the day!

2005-11-21T18:01:00.000-08:00

A huge number of people visit me while searching for "Vikram Seth gay" on google. hmmm...why so many?

Dubious by Seth - (with apologies for calling him gay)

Some men like Jack And some like Jill/
I'm glad I like Them both/
but still,
I wonder if This freewheeling
Really is an Enlightened thing/--
Or is its greater Scope a sign Of deviance from Some party line?/
In the strict ranks Of Gay and Straight/
What is my status:/
Stray?
or Great?

I wuvv the husband man

2005-11-20T18:21:00.000-08:00

Two sets of families coming over for the Thanksgving weekend. With 3 bacchas. We are desperately trying to accessorise and oterwise "finish" the home decor by then. So major trip to IKEA happened today, but what I really love is Pier 1 Imports. The latter specialises in sort of "ethnic" home decor, sourced from around the world and I have picked up really interesing things - some apparently from India! A beautiful curved Tibetan mirror, a wrought iron and wood jaali door, add the Madhubani painting from Dilli haat and pata chitra. My place almost has the global traveller post modern look that I wanted. I have to do major cooking before they come as well. Thinking of turkey with the traditional trimmings ie. pumpkin pie and cranberry chutney for the kids!

No that is not the point. The point is that the husband man has diligently spent the entire evening putting a TV cabinet and a bathroom cabinet together. He has bought a electric powered tool and has hammered and screwed and assembled and opened up various furniture body parts all evening - I couldn't possibly plow through with such grim determination. While the wife woman is fiddling away at the computer.

IKEA stores are great but never again! When in India you never imagine the hard hands on work you have to do in this country. Definitely there is a post in there somewhere...

So I will reward da man by embarrassing him excrutiatingly through this post...I wuvv you!!!

Shamshad begum

2005-11-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

Totally obessively listening to Shamshad begum. For some reason the song "reshmi salwar, kurta jaali ka" got stuck in my head. I bought this awesome 2 CD set from India, which has her best songs and a bonus leaflet which describes her voice as a tall glass of lassi...kya baat hai. Listening to saiyaan dil me aana re, mere piya gaye rangoon,chana chor garam, ek do teen ...
Here's a link to a page of her songs

Listen to kajra mohabbat wala or kahin pe nigaahen and read my old blogs, or drink lassi :)

What is interesting is how naughty Hindi lyrics were from the early days - they had fun, a sense of humour and a certain class!

On language

2005-11-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

I have been reading random blogs about how people relate to language - em and Thalassa and even rimi. And I have been thinking about it too. Every time I go back to Kolkata I notice huge changes - one of the big changes I noticed is how casually people slip in Hindi in the conversation. Mind you, I am a probaashi Bengali too and grew up in places like Lucknow and Bombay and Hyderabad and Dad spent his formative years in Allahabad - each of which have their own take on the language - Kolkaata I moved to for college - dad was in between transfers and I stayed with my grand mom, in North Calcutta (yes! and I think South Calcutta pride is ridiculous too) - studying in Presi was a huge ... I won't say culture shock but culture shift - certainly. I loved the exaggerated Bengaliness of the people - how it was not considered polite to speak in English in Public places like buses or even stores, unless they were "Marwari" or "nonbengali" stores.

I happen to be ridiculously well read in bengali - complete works of Bankimchandra at 9 anyone?-taught to read by my thamma in the summer vacations, since I was a toddler. I was a book not a worm but a baby bookpython. I read the Chheleder Ramayan at 6 and remember sobbing away at the fate of Sita and hating Ram - the gormless hero. And why chheleder I ask you. Graduating to Sarat Chandra and eventually Tagore, with passionate flings with Sukanto and Jibonanando Das along the way. Shakti Chattopadhyay too but, that was timepass I think.
My summer holidays are remembered by the books I read, Robinson Crusoe in Class 4, Pride and Prejudice in class 5. There was this lovely book called Banglaar Dakaat. And Syed Mujtaba oh Stop!OK can I mention Anandamela, way, better than Target!

Bengali kids have the privilege of reading fiction written by the finest writers in the language. Worlds away from the babyfied, age specific vocabulary, of most children's fiction. I do not know of any other Indian language that has such a strong tradition in Children's fiction. One of my favorites is Shirshendu's Jheeler Dhaarey Baari - and he is such a pessimist in his adult avatar.

My thamma was the principal of a school in the hills and there are beautiful memories of quaint wooden bunglows with flowers - shiuli phool and gandharaj and huge dahlias asbig as your head, and reading in the garden. And later after she retired, moving to a baagan baari in a little village closer to Kolkata. It was a fantasy retirement, which my grandparents enjoyed hugely for about 10 years - before old age and CPM goons forced them out to the evil city, where they exiat as shells of their former selves, stripped of dignity by decrepitude and alzheimers.

So anyway Bangla is special to me in a very unique way. At Presi, none of the girls I knew read Bangla. Loreto house and La Marts students, very incestuous, everyone knows everybody who are somebodies in a very Kolkata kind of way. Fascinating. All very Bengali.

So it was either English (BBC, not CNN) with friends and Bengali with non friends or parents of friends. Speaking English in the wrong place was just not done. And what, Bengali teen agers speak Hindi now! Shiva Shiva! That's a Southie thing by the way. NOt to mention that I saw kids preparing for a Bollywood dance competition-at Presi. Promode da goes - bujhlay na .... aaj kaal ja hochhey!

I guess the notion that speaking unmixed Bengali is a sign of good manners is a stiff pretension that is disappearing along with much else. But hey, you have malls and money instead and its all good and I am over the hill. Let me tell you in my days....cackle cackle!

I never write rambling blogs like this.... feel free to criticise.

Bhaalo theko, shobaai.

2005-11-14T15:52:00.000-08:00

7 things I plan to do
Ø dance all night at the carnival in Rio and explore South America
Ø read a book every week
o start reading poetry again – explore bangla poetry –
o explore the various strands of Indian philosophical thought
Ø cook something exotic each week
Ø raise a happy baby - my little drummer girl
Ø write a gossipy book on Indian history – non fiction
Ø dive in the Bahamas – (I can dive)
Ø learn to belly dance and restart yoga
Ø

seven things i can't do:
Ø ride a bicycle
Ø stay alone
Ø speak French or learn a new language
Ø tolerate snobs
Ø socialise with people I don’t really like -
Ø settle down
Ø be satisfied

7 things i say most often:

Its all good
Ø Take it easy, people
Ø What do you really want?
Ø It ain’t happening, baby
Ø Freakin’ idiots
Ø Shona moni
Ø Dhoor chhai kawla biskoot!
will tag the lovely Teleute of the random teenage/ now young adult angst fame, the Manipur Blogger , (isn't it nice to know there is one? spread the word ) and the Good Doctor (she is smart, she's sensitive and she can Party!)

Plus I am thinking of adding another tag: tell us the names of at least 3 but may be 7? bloggers

you read but do not personally know
who are not connected with the media
your random discovery blog!

Mine are:

Awesome dictator princess

River

List of bangla Blogs at Blog spot : including a HOW TO guide. The Bangladeshis are taking over people : join 'em or fight 'em - in Bangla, ki bolen Kobi Thakur?

And who hasn't read Salaam pax? I was in Cairo when I started and were one of the few who read him from the start - getting frantic when he stopped without notice for sometime. Historical interest.

ciao!

Born into brothels

2005-11-11T14:22:00.000-08:00

I watched “born into the brothels last night, on TV. I would like to exclude the angle of - third world poverty exploitation – glorification of the white savior issue, and focus on how it felt. May be poor Indians will only find a voice in white run media – middle class Indian media has divorced themselves and retreated to Neverland.

Most of all it seemed so utterly familiar – college street after all is a few steps away from Haarkaata goli.

And how heartbreakingly familiar the children were, how normal. If they were interviewed for a news channel and asked about their views on something random, like Durga puja – they would sound like any normal lower/middle class kid in Bengali medium school. That is the one thing that strikes me about street kids – how bright they all seem to be. There was this kid who sold newspapers at Worli naaka. He had asked me for a lift in the car one rainy afternoon, in Dadar. I don’t think he expected me to say yes. And he told me an elaborate, articulate, self important story about how he goes to school and takes care of his sisters. He was 8 or 9 and I knew he was lying. And that was heartbreaking too. But I respected him.

When people use big words and NGO jargon and talk about child rights and what not – we often forget how smart and good kids nice are left to fend for themselves in our streets. And if you see the North American kids - whiny, moronic, dissatisfied, slutty looking – the unfairness of life seems like a fresh new insight.

Its important to see one's own world from a fresh new angle. Get out of the comfort zone.
It wasn’t a depressing movie – watch it.

Hee Hee!

2005-11-11T11:30:00.000-08:00

I wuvv the internet! Stolen maal though!

Occupation zone

2005-11-08T20:28:00.000-08:00

We had a fantastic time on our trip to India - I am going to milk this for blog stories till the end of the year for sure. But sometimes a little something happens...

We were in Leh, and after having spent the whole day exploring we ended up at Mall road. There were 2 Scorpio loads of us, and since the guys were taking forever, getting the digital cards downloaded, I asked dad if us women could just take a vehicle and return. He said no. we had to wait.

As you can see, Leh is the smallest of towns and at night pretty dark. As we were all returning to the camp, there was this narrow little bridge type of place and we could see that an army jeep had gone off the road a little. Our Scorpios were civillian, hired vehicles. Suddenly we heard some yelling. We had in any case slowed down, to negotiate the narrow gap. We ignored the yelling, and it grew more insistent and abusive. The driver stopped looking scared, and rolled down his window. A JCO stuck his head in and asked in filthy Hindi, why we had not stopped , "abbey m*** roka kyo nahin? " And then demanded that we take the passengers in his jeep and drop them somewhere pretty far.

My dad then, in his most freezing voice said " suno, main XXRank YY name hoon aur abhi hamein us raasta nahin jaana". The volte face ws something to watch. The soldier immediately saluted, theek hai sir.

We were all a little stunned. And I timidly ventured, "he was not exactly asking for a lift was he?" Dad said," beta, this place is under army occupation. Ladakh tow thik hai, friendly territory, nothing like Kashmir" My dad, I migt add, despite a distinguished career has reatained both his judgement and his conscience, or may be because... but I am a daddy's girl.

And I thought about it- I mean if you can commandeer a private vehicle without a qualm in Ladakh, there is a lot more one can do in Kashmir. He was in the North East and he told me once that the government is creating another Kashmir there.

So who's watching?

Dad has been away from home since the earthquake, overseeing relief ops near Srinagar. And he will be away for a few weeks more at least. As are many of my good buddies in the army. I know they are doing great work. And I also know that army supervision breeds resentment in many different ways. Power corrupts - absolutely.

Sati Savitri Goth - True story

2005-11-04T21:27:00.000-08:00

My office is a very sleek and formal place that is probably one of the tightest run ships in Montreal. However for reasons that are another long story, there is one IT support team in my office is populated by musicians - alarming looking long haired band members who are very conscientious about the hours they put in - but not a minute extra. Their team head, thinks that they are much misunderstood and unappreciated. I actually did ask one of them to apply for a senior level position and she put in my place by telling me she is writing a book and can't really commit to longer hours. So anyways...

There is this cute as a button blonde, goth ish chick. She is extremely bright, tattooed all over and has a few alarming piercings. Just not corporate... some of you know what I mean. Soon after I joined we went out for a business lunch - and she proceeded to tell me the story of her life, over 2 beers. It went like this " So I met him in a bar y' know... he was an American marine, really hot and made me laugh... and so we have been together for the past 5 years... we got married real soon, cause he wanted a Canadian visa, he likes it here" (I am guessing he deserted.) "So we had a small apartment and he really can't hold a job for more than a few weeks... so I paid all the bills, y'know? its good that I managed to keep mine... they really are not going to give me a promotion , eh, y'know I could be a really good manager... so anyway, I am 32 y'know, so I decided to buy a house, really good deal y'know I got lucky" "And can you believe this guy, 2 months after we move in, he tells me man, I can't deal with the responsibility, mortgage and all. And I say that is crap, what the hell you talkin' about, man, you never pay nothing. But he whines and whines and he says he is not ready for a house and he wants to party, meet new people, you know what that means? right? and man I want to move on, I have 2 dogs I gotta take care of, grow up y'know? So we got divorced, a month back, but he lands up every evening to watch TV, and I got adate tonight, y'know? What do I do?" MOI "uh, tell him to stay away?"
He does not listen, and I am guessing he is not getting as much action as he thought he would, but he will, girls just want a guy , y'know, as long as they can move, not even...i don't know what to do, I want to meet people"

Today I get this e mail

Hi,

Could I take tomorrow off?My ex has a double hernia operation and he needs some one because he won't be able to walk. And its our wedding anniversary tomorrow, so I can't say no either

I send this

Sure, go ahead.

I am feeling mean, so I hope you won't mind my saying that its an entirely appropriate way for him to spend the wedding anniversary - not sure about you though!

I get

Hehe :) I feel sorry for him y'know?

Moral of the story 1: be nice to the woman in your life - she may nurse you through hernia operations!

Moral of the story 2 : Sati savitris come in all packages_including goth

newsflash

2005-11-02T10:16:00.000-08:00

Neil Gaiman is doing the screenplay for Beowulf, starring Angelina Jolie...several esoteric groups must be following, the nerdy history of lit fans, the fantasy fans and the Jolie fans.

Photos

2005-10-30T17:56:00.000-08:00

Views of Pang Gong Lake, boy at monastery, monastery, Indus river, and mountain lake

Awesome trip II

2005-10-30T17:30:00.000-08:00

Leh was the base for excursions into the mountains, the most amazing of which was visiting the Pang Gong lake, a 125 km salty, high altitude sea that marks the border between Tibet and India. At the highest point in our journey we were at 17.5,000ft at Chang la pass, the 3rd highest in the world. We stayed at a series of army/ air force camps, touching base with the culture I grew up in after a long time. The 2 Scorpios were filled with family and friends and we kept going, as the air grew rare and a strange light headed euphoria filled our spirits. The landscape was unbelievable, a moon scape that is beyond my powers to describe, so here are some photos.

Leh itself was a small town in the shadow of the high mountains, with monasteries and small ceremonial gompas scattered across. The little monks dressed in red, called aengelas, glimpsed against the bleak facades like tiny exclamation points. The river Indus, an icy glittering thread meanders around Leh, providing the only green cover one can see.

Fresh and green and good to go!

2005-10-27T12:20:00.000-07:00

Recognise that? Found it growing wild near a holy lake in the temple grounds somewhere in the Himalayas! Don't you want to know where? Holy smoke!!! Good stuff too :)

My awesome trip - 1

2005-10-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

I have had one of the most awesome trips in my life. We landed in Delhi at 9 and took the flight to Jammu next morning. Jammu to Udhampur was a 2 hour drive – through the hills – with the Indus(?) river meandering below us, a thin shining, gleaming thread -reminds me of the . Jammu was a typical small town, chaotic traffic, unplanned growth, rubbish dumps, little streams turned into open sewage drains, against a back drop of the mountains and groves of coniferous trees and balmy weather to die for. The chaos of small town India is a charming reminder of our unity in diversity – from Kashmir to Kanyakumari we are a mess. Home sweet home!

Home now is a lovely bungalow, hidden among the curvy mountain roads, set against a forest of sweet and sharp smelling pine trees. Flowers in the front and pumpkins at the back. Dad and mom looking older, a little more tired each time, which is always a shock, I remember them as the dashing young couple of my childhood.

Lovely Kashmiri furniture all over. The hand carving is magnificent in detail, with the cheap shiny finish. I appreciate these things more now I guess – too heavy to ship here, but also a little old fashioned in their design and finish. I want to open a home stuff manufacturing unit – using Indian craftsmen and a fusion of modern design and finish.

A day later we drive back to Jammu, in really bad traffic. Overnight at an inspection bungalow and then flight to Leh.

As soon as the plane touches down, you know you are “somewhere else”. A bleak, brown and gray valley, surrounded by equally brown mountain ranges. Its cold and you start gasping for breath after the short walk carrying your hand luggage to the terminus. It’s the lack of oxygen – welcome to Ladakh!
(Pix road to Udhampur / View of Jammu)

Yee ha!

2005-10-19T12:45:00.000-07:00

Vikram Seth steps out

2005-10-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

I find Vikram Seth's recent announcement that he is gay, to be a most interesting piece of news. One hears of rumours and of the Doon school of gay writers from mean Mayo types and so on but he is the FIRST MAJOR PUBLIC FIGURE IN INDIA TO ANNOUNCE HE IS GAY/BI-SEXUAL.

I am very intrigued by the idea. Not that the idea of gay-dom is very interesting by itself, but the idea of Mr. Seth, the epitome of the genteel Indian author, lionized by all, writing about arranged marriages within the pastel French chiffon sari set in hill stations : being gay is somehow delicious.

Mind you I have not read any of his fiction except the Golden Gate which was great fun and his poems which are redolent with an intelligent sweetness that is quite adorable.

However, I wonder whether this would have any impact on his reputation of utmost respectability in India? To me it adds an edge… but to his readers. Or am I underestimating the Seth fan base – I see them as being literary aunties and giggly teenagers. I may be wrong, Suitable Boy came out at a point in my life when the phrase stood for everything genteel that I hated. I liked my fiction, like my men quite rough those days. Time to take a second look perhaps...

Its interesting how unique personality traits can be. How Vikram the peaceful can build his little empire and gently step out of the closet like he was never in it. Imagine if Rushdie was gay – basically. I mean… what is my point exactly???

Outside forum

2005-10-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

Vishnupriya tagged me with the 55 word story thing, but I don't have a fiction bone left in my body, so here's a true story, no morals, and I can't count...

So I am on my way to the fancy schmancy shopping mall, when suddenly this hard eyed, stunted, ugly little urchin pops up beside me and starts the usual whine. And in a fit of misplaced guilt I decide to buy her glucose biscuits from the nearest panwallah. Once at the kiosk, she throws a total tantrum, biscuits nahin didi, chips do. I am bullied into buying her a small pack of chips. Two others materialise and start chanting chips, chips. But I am made of stronger stuff and sternly say its biscuits or nothing and give them half a pack each of glucose biscuits. As I pass by the first kid gloating over her chips, she does not look up. My mum later tells me that kindness is wasted on these kids.

I think of the lovely little 6 year old who dominated the dinner party the previous evening, imperiously demanding and getting piggy back rides from all the assorted corporate uncles.

I am going HOME : WooHoo!

2005-09-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

I am going home for 2 whole weeks!!! I so need a break! I shall be going to Leh and Ladakh as the parents are in Jammu currently. Fly from Montreal to Toronto, Toronto to Delhi. Delhi to Jammu. Mom and dad and husbn' man. And a few friends. On to Leh and Ladakh. Dad has apparently arranged some very interesting trips including a night's camping by an amazing lake, right up the mountains. And then back to Delhi for two days and on to

Kolkata for a quick visit to the in laws. But since they are just returning from the States, and were with us for 6 weeks earlier and we met many times, they are OK with the short visit. BUT, this is going to be my very first Cal pujo. despite having spent 5 years in the city, I never saw a puja as I always went back to my parents for the Puja hols. Should be fun, and S promised to show me around. Meeting loads of frienfs as well. I am excited.It will be crazy but fun.

Promise to blog more once I come back but have promised myself that I will detox my brains for 2 whole weeks and stay away from the PC. hopefully there will be no net access in Leh.

Wheeeeeeeee!!!

Little story

2005-09-25T16:33:00.000-07:00

Isn't it amazing how diverse the blogworld is and yet how everyone seems conected wihin a few degrees of separation? I was randomly visiting a Calcutta based blog, where the blogger was complaining about how women at restaurants are automatically directed to the non smoking section. Which reminded me of the time, many moons (well not that many!)ago when me and my girlfriends were celebrating graduation at a popular Park street fixture - Peter Cat actually. And we ordered beer. And the manager came over to explain to us apologetically that they do not serve alcohol to unaccompanied women - though how a group of four women could be described as unaccompanied would be asked by young women today, I think.

We were then treated to complementary ice cream - and I am ashamed to admit that all the feminist fury melted right away at that bribe - and thus began a career of capitalist corruption and the end of youthful idealism.

Uh, to those who are not initiated , hyperbole is meant to be ironic! Does PC serve beer to gaggles of girlfriends in Kolkata today?

Of Chinese girls and Indian men!

2005-09-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

I recently interviewed and hired a Chinese girl who has just completed her MBA from a leading B school here. What she said at the interview and later was really interesting. I asked her the usual questions. She had worked in a management position in Shanghai for a few years before doing her MBA here. I asked her why she did not want to go back given that the economy is booming. And she basically talked of sexual harassment and general discrimination against women.

Apparently she headed a team of engineers and when she went for meetings, the clients refused to talk to her because she was young. She also mentioned how most Chinese men expected some favours in return for a business deal. She got a little indignant and red faced as she described it. There is of course no coercion, but you know how it goes...

She was really articulate and bright and spoke great English with a near perfect upper class American accent. Elegantly put together. However, I realised that she is perhaps a hard working lower middle class, small town girl, ambitious, high achiever. Very similar to many Indian success stories these days. Its a bit scary to think that they are going to churn out kids like that by the hundreds of thousands in a few years time. Indians had better watch out. I am serious. Especially considering that I am part of that fast growing Indian diaspora - consultant/management types. I know what I am talking about.

Anyway, she also mentioned that she had to bribe the doctors to treat her dad when he was seriously ill. She said "you can start a major business in China now in a few days, and all the govt. people will help you, but if you are an ordinary person with ordinary problems, you have to be ver, very lucky". I gathered she was the only daughter (as is usual in China) and has to take care of both parents. But then she also tried to pull some B school bull shit. I asked her how her math was considering that she studies English at college and she said "well you know we Chinese and Indians are good at Math". Which annoyed me, don't pull that BS on me sistah! Of course I knew that having passed near the top of her class at Rotman she couldn't be completely bad, but that was the wrong answer. I mean we are not all good at math, its just that the bad at math are eliminated along the line.

More importantly, I found her description of sexual discrimination surprising - and not. Once at an exploratory interview for a position in Seoul, I was warned about Korean men - I passed on the offer. Its just that you never hear of Asian men harassing women on the roads, and Asian women dress American, while the harassment on Indian streets is absolutely the worst in the world. I have not been to Saudi but I guess we are on par or better - if that makes anyone feel better. And yet Asian women are supposed to face huge discrimination in the corporate world. Especially in highly developed Japan.

I have worked in India and have friends who do and this has never been an issue. I am sure it happens, if you are a helpless lower echelon type in a family business, but not at the corporate level - not much at least. Indian women are tough, no nonsense and extremely successful. How is that? Is it that the men we work with and study with are all a different group than the unemployed and angry mobs in the streets? Or do Indian men just misbehave with strangers? The latter can not be true as my favourite men/best friends in the world ARE Indian men. I would NEVER tell some foreigner that Indian men I know are bad(as opposed to those I don't know on the streets, who are), the way many Asian women casually talk about their men. This girl also told me this, "Chinese men are especially mean to the girls because the government tells them not to, so its almost like asserting their independence" . Ah that sounds familar, thwarted masculinity finding redemption in dominating women. That I can relate to, as can all women. Even the American women's rights are threatened these days, with a serious Christian initiative to pretty much ban abortions- and the fiasco over the morning after pill. OK that was a rambling post! What’s your perspective? Do I have a rosy picture of urban India that I left many years back and still miss? Or Indian guys we know are really the best?

Snapshots

2005-09-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

The last two weekends have been spent exploring Maine and Cape Cod. I took a day off and with a labor day weekend, it was 4 days this time around. I went swimming off the tip of Cape Cod, the water was cold but I could swim. The water in Maine was far colder, my ankle bones hurt and I got pins and needles but I spent 2 hours trying to acclimatise myself and could swim for a few minutes. Summer is over I think. It has been great.

My first Montreal winter was miserable. I got sick with flu twice after coming to this country and took weeks to recover each time. A lot of new comers I know suffer from allergies. And in the winter basically you can not open doors and windows for three months straight. For another 3 months you can open the doors and windows for a few minutes for ventilation purposes only. Can you think of anything so unhealthy. I can't. The house basically smells musty no matter what you do. When I used to think of Canada I thought of fresh air and the outdoors. bUt basically for 6 months you are shut indoors. Its horrible. The summer of course has been an endless round of festivals, people simply enjoying the sun. That is something I learnt after coming here-appreciating good weather - and the need to simply go sit in the park whenever the sun is shining and it is warm.

America is a third world country

2005-09-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

I need to vent. Being a news junkie and with constant coverage of the situation in New Orleans, I am freaking out. Its unbelievable that even after days of the deluge, there has been NO relief for those affected. The citizens have been in a confined stadium. No food or water in 48 hours after the storm. I am not sure if there still has been any, because those smug bastards on network news would surely have jumped at the chance to show some relief work. Deliberate down playing of the number of the dead. No relief!!!!!!!!!!! Evacuations have been hap hazard and pitifully low. No attempt at bringing order. There are no relief camps set up anywhere. No tents no nothing! No plans!

And now they are whining about looting and people taking pot shots but they are desperate. They know nobody gives a shit!. What if the people in there had been white??? let's face it this is the ugly face of American racism. Even in India relief work is not so slow. Don't we send in food within 24 hours with the air force? Even if not adequate, I mean we ARE better than this. And I am so angry, why ??? because this is America. Its not supposed to be like this. They are supposed to do better. Whatever your politics, if America fails, what is left? I hate Bush and the Iraq war, but still the idea that there was a place on this earth where fundamental human dignity is recognised was always precious. And that beacon was America. I am angry because I feel betrayed. Naiive ? Yes. But that the US of A could allow such mismanagement and suffering to take place in their own soil is really hard to take. AND SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE BLACK. NO QUESTION.

why will they not riot. I would if I was hungry and hopeless! Wouldn't you? You would not, only if you had hope.

I have been reading a lotof blogs and its not uncommon to read"shoot the looters at sight" " like Chicago needs more homeless people wandering about". This is how third world countries deal with problems - beat the shit out of poor people and hope they disappear. But of course they don't and ultimately we are all in it together. Welcome to the real world. I wish I could be happy to see the decline of America. But I can't crow. Its heart breaking. This is the real world. And I am obsolete.

Who remembers the fuss USA created about the geneva Convention when a few US soldiers captured by the Iraqis were photographed. But now ...let's get real and shoot S&M porn films with Iraqi prisoners. The Geneva Convention is bullshit!

I guess if you have no compasion for poor foreigners you ultimately have no compassion for poor folks in your backyard either. Those who believe in human dignity are not selective. You either have respect and compassion or you don't. America has turned its back on its constitution.

New Orleans

2005-08-31T07:28:00.000-07:00

I love the urban life and travelling to a new and interesting city is tremendously exciting to me. And so New Orleans was this fantasy city to me. The music, the food, the French influence, the art scene, the carnival seems to have this special voodoo on me. I have never been there but dreamed of visiting... and the devastation wrought by Katrina seems unbelievable. The words divine retribution comes to mind, though I know how terrible it sounds. Remember those Mullahs who said the tsunami was retribution? I don't say this in terms of petty morality or that anyone has this coming, its just that being a pagan(more on that in later post) by faith nature's fury always seems a message, more respect please. We don't just need to cherish and protect this earth of ours but pay homage to it.

My interest in mainstream media is incresingly diluted, by the on the spot and spontaneous blog reports, whose honesty and emotional intensity packs a far greater punch! I regularly read metroblogs, a very interesting site that has a list of city bloggers in most major cities. The NewOrleans Metro Blog is particularly interesting now. Dive in, you will get a new perspective!

Quick post

2005-08-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

Off to Cape Cod for the weekend. Leaving office an hour early. Its bright and sunny and I feel fine!Pix will follow.

Little snack for you to read. Lovely travel write up on Amsterdam in Slate. If you haven't read it and like travel stories, you should enjoy these.

The husbandman had recently gone on a trip to Amstdm, and got back for me:

box of fresh and raw and deboned herrings, nicely rolled up and dunked in Olive oil, which I promptly ate, realised it was raw, pretended it was Sashimi and made shorshey bata out of rest. When asked why he would get something so weird, he reminded me that I did eat it raw and no spitting either. Not mollified, evn if herring tastes distinctly like illish
One bag of tulip bulbs, even though we live in a downtown apartment, lovely and gracious place in old Montreal, BUT it has no place for planting stuff - looked very sheepish when asked why.
one oversize Amsterdam T shirt
and a pair of ugly ass ceramic clogs

Husband men have a special secret school where they get specialist training on how to buy weird presents for the wifethings.

Singing the body electric...

2005-08-20T15:43:00.000-07:00

Too tired to blog. Office politics run my life. But here are a few treats for you, gentle reader...

My magnificent ass
Hides behind me like
A shy child clinging to its mother
It is a barnacle on a ship
Unwilling to be pried off with will or force
It is my own version of a Kentucky waterfall
Business in front, party in the rear
Unfortunately, the party is getting rowdy
And I think there may be a wrestling match going on back there.
But no chair is too hard
No bench too uncomfortable
For this super-convenient, ultra-soft, über-padded rear
Perhaps God is trying to tell me something?
Pass the remote.

T. Fenniak, Edmonton, Canada

I have always been
Tall and thin
Thanks to good ol' Dad
I once had a body of
Enviable perfection
To the gym 6 days a week I went
With a soul full of sad
But now I've found the pleasures of a beer
And food
Sleeping in rather than 8 a.m. cardioS
hared with a great guy
And two dogs
So cheers to less muscular perfection
A body which is no longer so tightly cut
It has finally grown enough room
For a soul full of glee
Just do it.
-- Karen, Atlanta, Ga.

My hair is gray upon my head
(for that is where it grows)and yet,
the TV surgeon said,

I still could fix my nose,
Botox the wrinkles from my brow
and plump my thinning lips
(both on my face and down below)
and lipo tum and hips.

'Twould send my self-esteem sky high,
he said,
to have this look.
I cut myself a piece of pie
and went back to my book.
-- Katha Pollitt, New York, N.Y.

And finally this lovely little haiku

Chicken of the spring
I am not,
sadly,
these days
Ab reduced to flab
-- David Norland, Los Angeles

These are all poems based on the body and more may be found at We sing the body electric in Salon, inspired by the new series of Nike ads(read the article here), which made my eyes pop, And the photo above is just a photo of my favourite body part, taken off the net. Have a good week people!

Bar story - 2

2005-08-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

One of the most interesting bars I have ever been to was in Antwerp. Its a small town, with an almost perfectly preserved historic core. Indians would know it for its diamond connection, the only place in the world where the customs guy looked at my passport, smiled and said "India, welcome m'selle" WITHOUT checking the visa!!! Of course I was flying in from Italy but still!!!In one of the town squares a little chapel has been turned into a bar. The weird thing is that the decor has not been changed at all, and all around their shelves crammed with icons, flying angels on the ceiling and a general sense of heightened decadence with the juxtaposition of the sacred and the profane. You have to see it to believe it, so pictures here ...

Bar story - 1

2005-08-14T08:19:00.000-07:00

Reading the latest compulsive confessor post I was suddenly reminded of my first New York bar experience. Now, I have been pretty much everywhere and there is not much that fazes me, but there was this bar in Soho that left me gaping like a tourist. After an afternoon of window shopping and general walking around we decided to do the "Sex and the City" thing and hit a New York bar.

The mojitos are great and food is pretty good, the ceilings are high, the music is funky, open airy stylish space, a good mix of hip New Yorkers and good looking tourists and the bar man is pretty hunky and its not breaking the bank, and I am feeling pri-tty good. Very with it, y'know. But then we notice the Japanese tourists going upstairs to the loo and returning with pretty stunned expressions. So after a few martinis and mojitos I gotta go pee too. And I am quite buzzed by then. So I go up and there are tables of party goers and right behind them are a set of loos - all in glass TRANSPARENT. They look very cool but, right, transparent! So I am totally shocked and drunk standing there reeling and wondering if I really should have had that "brazillian" done. (And of course, forget about separate girls & boys)After about 5 minutes I notice that once people go in there seems like a cloud of smoke filling the cubes and you can't see much, but presumably you choke to death peeing in high style! I gingerly go in and stand inside like , forever, making sure I can see nothing outside and finish up fast. (basically the glass frosts over, but it stil looks cloudy)I return with the stunned tourist expression! Too traumatised to pee for the rest of my stay in New York(well, almost!).

Ok that's my freaky bar experience, what's yours!
This is a first in a series, I think...

Bruges

2005-08-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

I took this picture in a place called Brugges in Belgium. Its one of those ancient European towns, (3 minute audio video intro here) but the photo is actually of a toy shop window which also reflects the buildings opposite, giving it this magical, faerie folk caught on camera quality. Should I have shared my trade secret? Double click on picture for a better view. Its really quite eerie!

Happy Birthday to me!

2005-08-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

Another birthday. The husband man is in Amsterdam on business! Again! How come I never get it to go!!!He also gets to meet up with this lovely girl, who is a friend and also passing through. I wanna go too....Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! But I feel a little better after getting a pome from da man!

Happy hippy birthday
Excerpts...
(music)
(everybody)
o amaar pet petni
o amaar hutum pechi
o amaar mecho petni
o amaar pet petni
(repeat)
(slow)
aaj tomaar jommodin
aami tomaar aladdin
tumi amaar life'er genie
aare shudhu du-din
o amaar pet petni!

I am so proud. This from a guy who forgot my birthday 2 years in a row!!! And a physics grad who thinks fiction is for wimps!
I am a little drunk all by myself. This post will have to be deleted soon I think! Or I will soon find out if he really does not read my blog!

2005-08-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

For teleute...looks quite tame though!

2005-08-10T19:27:00.000-07:00

How hot is this woman?!

She is also Canada's new Governor General!
She is a 48 year old university professor and a broadcaster,
of Haitian origin.

This post reflects my sincere interest in the culture of my new country and an earnest desire to assimilate!!! Now somebody, just give that Paul Martin a makeover...

Urp!

2005-08-09T16:30:00.000-07:00

I have not much to say! But I owe you who visit me from such exotic places as Norway (2!) Qatar (1) Taiwan (1) and Congo(1). Not to mention those from good old Canuckistan, Hindustan, and Amrikistan and Londonistan.

Much obliged...urp!

Shabnam, Kolkata's Laila Ali!! Do you know her?

2005-08-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

I found this very interesting photo essay on Shabnam, who is an aspiring boxer in Kolkata. More power to her!

Of Snakes and Politics!

2005-08-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

Lazy Sunday morning! Husband man off on business and its just me and the net! Bliss!!! I found this little slide show on the snake charmers in India on the BBC website and particularly loved the "design elements" of this photo, the colours and the juxtaposition. Bold colour graphics that are so uniquely Indian. And also thought a little about how in middle class India there is an overwhelming demand to forget "exotic India". The BBC team trailing snake charmers, typical foreigners stereotyping India. Ignoring our boring middle class lives, the boxy apartment buildings, the stultifying suburban landscape, the relentlessly duplicating office cubes, the complete lack of consciousness of aesthetics in our urban design. There are many times when I too get annoyed at stereotypes in the media, but I also believe that rural India leads the world in innovative textile design, in treatment and appreciation of colours. By the way we also have rural "schools" of textile design that are a marvel of subtlety and sophistication.

Its time perhaps for us urbanites to take a fresh look at our exotic heritage and be proud of the creativity and diversity of our folk heritage! It would be sad if snake charmers disappeared along with the travelling acrobats and monkey shows! And entered the software industry, no?

Of Blogger Nannies and Blogging Battles

2005-08-05T14:05:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have read the NY Times article by the mom who fired her nanny for blogging. Since you will n ow have to pay for the article - it started like this -

Our former nanny, a 26-year-old former teacher with
excellent references, liked to touch her breasts while reading The New Yorker
and often woke her lovers in the night by biting them. She took sleeping pills,
joked about offbeat erotic fantasies involving Tucker Carlson and determined
she'd had more female sexual partners than her boyfriend.
Making the non blogging public go Ooh, how shocking, what a slut!

Anyway the said nanny has posted a stunning reposte - which I think should be read, for its amazing display of controlled and intelligent outrage. See here

Its also a fascinating example of the mini explosions that can take place when the blogging and non blogging worlds collide. Bloggers beware!

Bohemian New York

2005-08-04T14:42:00.000-07:00

This gypsy found and loved this series of articles in Slate magazine. Beautifullly describing that oh so fleeting "New York state of mind". Enjoy!

Photo blog: Toronto Pride

2005-08-02T18:12:00.000-07:00

We stayed last year for a while in Toronto, right next to Church street, the heart of the G&L community and had great fun over the Pride weekend. I was pretty job less then and hung out with these 2 very big and white South African (Nazi looking, sorry Bruce) couple, who were my neighbours. But they were amazingly sweet and they actually got fed up of Toronto and moved back to Jo' burg last year. One of them with an Aid group and the other in the same field as me. They wanted the REAL life in SA, gaybashing and all! Its funny how many South Africans I have met who are convinced that SA is multicultural and exciting and miss it like hell, and all I think of is apartheid and Mandela. Thats a whole other post. They also bequeathed us their plants which the husbandman insists on referring to as the gay plants as in"have the gay plants been watered?" as opposed to "are the weeping plants alright" referring to the ultra emotional ficus trees that shed copious amounts of perfectly glossy, healthy leaves any time we go away for the weekend, or if they are moved from their favourite spot even for an hour! Long sentence, eh?

Please notice the serious jhola walla Southasians and the pink lady for contrast! That's a whole other post too! And yes, double clicking on the pictures will let you have a better look!

Marrakech II

2005-08-02T17:51:00.000-07:00

Photo Blog: Enchanted palace:Marrakech

2005-08-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

Some time ago I was lucky enough to stay in a riad (villa) in Marrakesh. It was a couple of hundred years old, right in the famous Djeme el fna, an ancient market square that is still abuzz with story tellers and fold dancers and snake charmers and tourists not to mention. The riad was a couple of hundred years old and currently owned and restored by a Hollywood scriptwriter (?) I saw cosy group photos featuring Liz Taylor, not at the riad of course(!). Strangely enough there were no other guests, the place is not really a hotel, but the owners visit once a year and let out rooms to those who have heard of it from other guests. It was a magical and enchanting stay, I loved it so much I did not explore Marrakesh much. It was just lovely to lie by the pool and pretend I was back in time and was a nawaabzaadi (-(it won't be much fun being anything else in the past) or a jet setting socialite doing a Garbo. I am a working class woman, but I do get lucky some times! Ewww... that sounds way more la di dah than itI am! My Scottish boss knew I was this crazy woman who goes off alone to out of the way places, and I had work at Casablanca and suggested this place. It was a wonderful long weekend.

ayi ayi ayi!

2005-08-01T17:55:00.000-07:00

Angel me!

I want this to be the picture on my profile but I can't seem to get it there... so annoying! I am a bumble bee in the blog world apart from being a corporate drone. Forsooth! ayi ayi ayi!

Travels with Pico Iyer

2005-07-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.rolfpotts.com/writers/iyer.html

http://www.powells.com/authors/iyer.html

Is it any wonder that an aspiring gypsy like me should be a fan of travel writing? Here are links to two very interesting interviews with my favourite contemporary travel - Pico Iyer, whose work is getting increasingly introspective in its treatment of places, if that makes sense? But that is of course the goal of all travel writers - to explore the inner world in moments when it is turned upside down by the external?

One of my favorites is a little known Bengali writer called Syed Mujtaba Ali. A man of incredible erudition, whose writing weaved in his knowledge of Sanskrit, Farsi, German and Bengali (folk) literature, with incredible humour. He was a doctor who trained in germany in the early 1940s and married a German woman. He came back and was a physician in Royal court of Afghanistan. He also lectured at the medical school there and writes about his female students, in a matter of fact manner! Who would have thunk? His stories about Germany are compelling too. One of the truly unique voices in Bengali literature.

And Jan Morris, of course.... uh... I think I will post about one author at a time. Its 5 p.m on a Friday afternoon and the husband man is calling. He gets afternoons off on Fridays in the summer. Lucky suit!!!

No fair, I want to be a client too!

Enjoy!

Identities and emotions

2005-07-08T12:14:00.000-07:00

I was reading an interesting take on the old debate in another semi - Indian blog. The blogger Buchu had written emotionally about the London bombings and a visitor commented, basically "37 dead - no big deal, think of the hundreds who die every so often in India". Buchu replied with passion and criticised the common cynical and glib Indian habit of dismmissing most things or reading a selfish motive into them http://baghaescup.blogspot.com/ I agree with her whole heartedly - but it did bring up a few nagging quetions.

Why does the deaths in the West seem more shocking? Why is the idea of western tourists dying on holiday more of a tragedy , to me , than say that of the hundreds who die of floods and accidents and hunger in India. And in this context isn't the no big deal response a more appropriate response to the death of foreigners? Actually Indian tragedy is certainly not less of a tragedy but it is less of a news. Its just that to Indians the vast group of fellow Indians are not "real". "They are not us". Hence their suffering has no meaning for us. Which is why the India Shining campaign appealed so much - the BJP would have won only "we" don't vote. That would mean acting, doing something based on our convictions , whoever heard of such a thing!

I think it is not that Westerners are more precious in my mind... its just that I am inured to Indian deaths. Its a slim difference but is there. And I am ashamed. I remember many years ago discussing post revolution Poland with a Polish friend. And she described how things are harder with democracy. How the old couple who were her neighbours went through garbage at night looking for food, something that never happened when the communists were in power. She herself was young and like me an expat enjoying the fruits of globalisation. And I remember empathising whole heartedly, truly how sad, I said and then catching myself - what about the street kids at home? Its not that I don't feel terrible when I see them, but do I have right to feel sad about Polish poverty?

And I do feel self conscious empathising with pain or expressing it - because I know the Westerner also probably thinks its inappropriate coming from me. I remember, living in Greece and there it is quite common to poison stray cats and dogs . Coming as I do from a Calcutta family with 13 cats - the beraal baari in the paara - we used to wake up and find kittens left at our door - I was shocked when my Brit boss told me that her pet cat had been accidentally poisoned. And I spontaneously went - oh , how can they do such a terrible thing?!!! And she, blue stocking Thatcher clone raised her thin eyebrows and looked at me a little quizzically. I shut up immediately. How appropriate is it for an Indian to talk about cruelty to animals when we as a society are cruel and callous towards our children on the streets?

London burning...

2005-07-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

Came bleary eyed to office yesterday after a late night at the jazz festival. Saw the "we are alright lets work harder and show 'em" e -mail from the big man in London and said WTF?! and checked CNN. Then wrote to a few friends there to check they were alright (they are) and worked harder.

Its sad how much in our stride we take things now. The thing about 9/11, I was in Cairo then, was they rude shock of it. This is not supposed to happen - there. Its a loss of innocence on a big scale and the response to London , in London is part British resolve and part we have been there seen this before.

I love London. It was the first Western place I travelled to on a holiday and still remember how exhilerating it was. I was young and naive then and on my own. And for the first time felt completely comfortable and unself conscious being on my own in a public place. In a way I could not imagine before. In India( and most other places) you can't but be self conscious and vigilant at all times. So much so you are not aware of it. In southern Europe you are aware of being the outsider and mostly unwelcome. London was happy and easy going and friendly in a way I had not imagined. I could be ananymous and loved being cheerfully ignored as everyone was doing their thing. I remember reaching at 9 and taking the metro with a relative, who took me out at Trafalgar and by then it was 12, and there was a huge party going as the Brazillians had won of the World Cup matches and there were bands and everyone was doing the Samba - drunk. I had the best Shawerma sandwiches and Coke ever and fell in love with the city. I am embarrassed to admit this I loved the touristy-est places, the crowds of young people just hanging out.

It was a great summer.

And I felt free in a way I have never felt before. For the first time I was happy to just be.

I have been back many times since and London always seemed cool and truly cosmopolitan. New York is too cold, too busy. Paris is too beautiful and introverted. Rome is provincial when not busy being a museaum. And I haven't been to Amsterdam, the husband man says the grass is great and people are mellow.

Let's have some fun

2005-07-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

http://isorule.blogspot.com/2005/06/finger-pervert-online-quiz.html

I love Jay's blog!

Enjoy!

2005-06-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

those baby blues

2005-06-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

Had a tiff with ma in law today. our first and feeling really bad. she is a sensible soul and I love the fact that she really tries to be as nice possible - but it was over the big BABY QUESTION. It has been 5 years since we have been married and not a bawling brat in sight. Which leads to considerable embarrassment in her social circle. Not to mention that my mom has been calling her up and whining about it. I don't see the point - ma probably wants to prove that she is a normal person and her daughter's strangeness has nothing to do with her. They want a timeline from us and I don't see why I have to provide one. Why do I need to tell anyone when I will have a baby? And why is it just me that has to deal with it? Why not ask the husband man? How come I feel like the criminal here. I have decided to not go to India till I have the blessed baby - whenever that is - because my own parents will not lay off. Nor will family. My corporate life, my "success" has no meaning in the family scheme of things. This despite the fact that most of the women in this family had babies late . apparently much to their dismay as they had trouble getting preggers - according to the family gossip - I guess I should understand their feelings and shut up - but the silence is rude too. I think the only things I could say that would make poeople happy is a) can't have baby and am suicidally miserable about it, or b) am trying as of now and am very sorry for not having one earlier. Essentially I should be sorry- not a 30 plus woman gadding about , planning trips to Mexico.

Families are so frustrating. Those of us who have leave abroad idealise the idea of home and family and get very nostalgic and sentimental and affectionate. But people at home don't necessarily get that carried away - the same old family politics are still there - dragging on for years - you are rudely reminded why you ran away in the first place.

As ma said "shomaajey thaaktey holey tow proshnor uttor diteyi hobey". How do people cope? India is full of single women or "elderly"DINKs - how do you cope with the pressure? There has to be pressure , no?

This is probably a very uncool post for the blog world - the blogs I read are so up and about - no doubt because the Indian bloggers are not really seeking anonymity- unlike me. Which is OK - its just another way to communicate and express yourself.

I will go home and clean the house today and cook and try to be good - because I do like my in laws - she bugs me less than my mom at times. The husband man's family in general is pretty nice. So I will make up.

I used to be a very adventurous babe at one point - I left Bombay to work in some pretty exotic places around the world - and look at me now!

Its all over now baby blue -

Well now, its never really over is it - life is in a different phase now - is all. I am mostly more mature and calm - except for moments like these when I wonder how boring and predictable the whole world is. There is no escaping the dull reality, is there, especially when you are 30 + and married to the man you love for 5 years, and are busy preparing the nest for the demon child - no demon lover in the horizon and you don't one either? I want to rush to your lovely new home, have a long bath and watch TV - or drag my ass to the treadmill - striding to nowhere with determination.

Dark clouds

2005-06-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

work front. One of the divisions of the office I work in just closed down. Its in the US, so I am guessing it will be better than laying people off in Canada. And its a hand ful of people only. Still its sad. Plus it rings some warning bells in my mind. What will happen next? what about me. But I am quite blase about it right now... being older helps one cope better I think. There is very little that is worse than something I have experienced before. My whirling lifestyle has made me very calm... whatever. Job loss is a fact of life in the States, it happens all the time. But uncertainty is a big thing in India too. There is an intense pressure to do superlatively well or ship out.

That's it. Do not feel like blogging any more.

the sun is shining is Montreal

2005-05-31T10:31:00.000-07:00

O bliss! How lovely to see the sun shine! we who live(d) south of the tropics never really appreciate the sun the way the Northerners do. But its nice. The sense of season is so strong here. for practical reasons - you do need a different set of clothes for all 4 seasons, but also because the brutality of the winter here makes the few pleasant days so precious. I now know why englishmen talk about the weather. Its a constantly changing thing. I went out for a walk.

This weekend we went to Quebec city. How lovely and touristy it is. I liked it though not like the Niagara which really is a horrible theme park, except when the water just roars over your head in the underground caves. Quebec is lovely and the boardwalk is an absolute delight. Snaking along hills above the St Lawrence...Canada is beautiful. One of those days when it felt as if coming here was worth it. It has been. Things are finally working out and the sun is shining. I have infinite patience now, well no, but almost there... life is really quite frantic back home... or was it just my younger self. I feel adulthood slowly spreading and rising through me and I like that. I am calmer and more in control and if there is no manic joy, there is no dark depression either. I finally feel that I can just be and breathe a little. I miss having a social life... but when I left Cairo it was like , been there done that. There is always something to miss. Plus I am not the easiest to get along person either, no?

It was beautifully overcast in Quebec city, grey, pregnant with the promise of rain . I always loved the monsoon. For years I saw no rain at all .SO I don't mind the rain. Always that nostalgia of ginger tea and a good book, sitting by the window and reading - those beautiful days in Navynagar. That was lovely. India is so beautiful and the quality of the light is different in every part of the country. The light in the west is dry and breezy and sandy and the east is intense and humid and a deeper gold. Navy nagar was at the tip of the island of Bombay and was very green and spread out with lovely colonial bungalaows with big gardens and lots of tall buildings named after a constellation of Apsaras. Old shady trees lined the roads, which were lined with boulders neatly painted white. Defence areas were always so clean and green that for us brats it was always hard to adjust to the squalor outside. But I always wanted to get out , see something else since I could remember. There was always the enchanting thought of something more interesting around the corner! I have gone round many corners, its not what lies behind, its the anticipation I am hooked on.

2005-05-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

I loved the process of the blog, but am wondering if it is going to be what I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be a light a breezy account of my travels for friends and family, but once I started writing a few uncomfortable things came tumbling out. And I think its best to be honest to myself and have no readers- treat this as writing practice. Its been a while, many years since I consciously chose to be creative or simply free flowing... spontaneous is what I would like to be , but in the process of clinging on and inching up the corporate ladder, that is a side of me that I have completely (almost) eliminated. I like the in control me but an outlet would be nice.... help me see whether I could do something worth while if I let myself loose or would I just ramble pointlessly? Actually pointless is OK, a blog is a pointless exercise from a profit and loss point of view but who knows what the rewards would be?

Hey everybody!

2005-05-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

This blog has been created to keep a record of our travels and let you know of our coordinates on a regular basis. The past 8 years have been a pretty wild ride through many countries and continents and now I / we are finally trying this strange new settling down thing - which takes some getting used to. But we are giving it our best shot... bought a house and a car, so greatly in debt and gingerly stepping into the world of responsibilities and mortgage paytments. Which feels weird because earlier there was always the feeling that if things got rough one could pack up and leave- we still can, except that the bank will have a warrant out! Ok that was NOT an auspicious start... happy thoughts, happy thoughts, focus on happy thoughts! Unhappiness is such a drag-my life is so much better once I decided to follow the just do it philosophy in life - no place for regrets, no half measures - do it or trash it, is my motto. It takes a while but once you have it in your system life is brighter and shinier and prettier. I used to write poetry in college and read the Russians. Now I read non fiction and listen to rap and crunch numbers for a living - I love numbers, they are so ... umm crunchy?!!. Its all a journey towards the mirage called sanity . See that old whiny bengali self sneaks in, be squashed and begone.